I read a recent piece on how to interrupt someone who won’t stop talking. It offered tips like saying their name, acknowledging their point, and redirecting the conversation. All very tidy. All very polite. And all just a little off the mark.
Here’s the problem. You can acknowledge someone, even redirect them gracefully, but if you don’t find some shared ground, they won’t feel heard. And when people don’t feel heard, they don’t stop talking. Your redirection can feel like sugar-coated disregard for what they were saying.
Most over-talkers aren’t trying to dominate the room. They’re trying to feel heard. So, when we use clever interruption strategies that steer without connecting, what we’re really saying is, “I’ve heard enough of you.” They feel it, even if said sweetly.
I often argue for agreement with what they’re saying. Not total agreement, not even deep agreement- just a sliver. A line like, “You’re right that this client is unusually nervous, and that makes me think about how we handled something similar last year,” gives them validation and opens the door for a pivot. It makes the shift feel collaborative instead of competitive. People relax when they feel seen. That’s when they pause. That’s when there’s room for others.
Yes, there may be times when there is no room for agreement. “I can see how you came to that conclusion,” covers a lot of ground. Humanely, it has the downfall of requiring you to think about what they are saying and try to understand how they got there.
And yes, you still may need to be firm with some talkers. There are moments where the only way to create space is to clearly state, “I want to make sure everyone has a chance to weigh in.” But if you’ve shown even a moment of real agreement earlier, they’re less likely to dig in.
Communication isn’t just about asserting your voice. It’s about creating space where everyone feels safe to contribute. That’s not done through tactics. It’s done through empathy that doesn’t interrupt connection while interrupting the monologue.
People don’t stop talking when they’re interrupted well. They stop talking when they feel understood.
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Tricia Tamkin, headhunter, advisor, coach, and gladiator. Tricia has spoken at over 50 recruiting events, been quoted in multiple national publications, and her name is often dropped in groups as the solution to any recruiters’ challenges. She brings over 30 years of deep recruiting experience and offers counsel in a way which is perspective changing and entertaining.
