We had a wonderful Path to Actualization session on Friday, talking about expectations and gratitude. These are important topics because recruiting isn’t just a job, it’s a relentless series of decisions, conversations, and curveballs. One day, you’re on top of the world with a signed offer and grateful candidate. The next, your “sure thing” falls through, and the client ghosts you. This rollercoaster isn’t for the faint of heart. But the real power in this profession doesn’t come from hustle alone. It comes from clarity and intention. Two forces, clear expectations and authentic gratitude, don’t just make you better at your job. They make you better, period.

Expectations are predictions we place on the future. When those predictions don’t match reality, we feel disappointment. That disappointment? It’s not random. It’s a direct reflection of how far off our assumptions were. You thought a candidate would ace the interview, and they didn’t. You assumed your client’s “must-haves” were flexible, until they weren’t. The emotional friction we experience in recruiting is often a result of unspoken, unrealistic, or unmet expectations.

But here’s the kicker: we often mistake preferences for requirements. “Must have a degree from a top school,” “Must love startup chaos,” “Must be a culture fit,” these are preferences, not true requirements. When we miscategorize them, we shrink our candidate pool, stretch our timelines, and sabotage our own revenue.

Want to make more placements? Lower your standards, intentionally. Get clear on what’s actually required versus what’s just nice to have. This isn’t about lowering quality, it’s about getting real and being strategic.

And in your personal life? The same applies. We disappoint ourselves and each other by failing to voice expectations, assuming people will just “know,” or clinging to magical thinking. Instead, start with this: What do I expect from others? From myself? What expectations have I never said out loud?

Now flip the script. Gratitude is the other half of the equation, and it’s not fluff. It’s science. It rewires your brain, boosts dopamine and serotonin, and strengthens the neural pathways that help you recover from stress. It’s also a competitive advantage in this business.

We’re often so focused on what’s next, the next req, the next placement, the next fire to put out, that we forget to appreciate what’s already working. Gratitude shifts your perspective from what’s missing to what’s present. It’s a mindset reset that creates resilience.

Want to stand out as a recruiter? Start appreciating candidates for their effort, not just their outcomes. Start thanking clients for responsiveness, not just decisions. Start noticing what is going well instead of only what’s broken.

Even when things go sideways, fall-offs, no-shows, rejection emails, you can reframe. Ask: What can I appreciate about this situation? The gratitude pivot isn’t about toxic positivity. It’s about anchoring yourself in something constructive so you don’t drown in chaos.

The real transformation happens when clear expectations and gratitude are combined. Set expectations early, then appreciate when they’re met. Be flexible enough to reset them when needed. Say thank you, even when outcomes aren’t perfect.

These two forces form the foundation of authentic relationships. With candidates. With clients. With friends and family. Conversation openers like “Here’s what you can expect from me,” or “I appreciate that you…” build trust faster than any pitch. They also diffuse conflict and make space for realignment when things go off track.

When you lead with both clarity and appreciation, recruiting gets easier. Your relationships deepen, your setbacks shrink, and your wins feel more meaningful. This isn’t just about being a better recruiter. It’s about showing up in every part of your life with more honesty, presence, and resilience.

It’s not magic. It’s mindset.